A Letter to The Strong Sis Support Group

A Love Letter to My Strong Sis: I See You.

Being a member of the Strong Sis Support Group (SSSG) for well over a decade, I take a moment to reiterate to all active members, unofficial members, and our Junior Cadets: I see you.

And no, not in the “let’s talk about our problems” and definitely not shed tears over things we can’t control. But sincerely, I mean that I see you and need you to take a moment. A moment where you can exhale.

We inhale and hold every time we see a good friend hurting—no matter the cause of the pain. We take on every piece of luggage to lighten the load for our loved ones. Yes, our backs hurt. But what’s the alternative here… leave those we care about in despair? I think not.

So, as we inhale and hold for Keisha, then inhale and hold for Mia, of course, the big inhale and hold for Momma, we start adjusting how we breathe. While we learn to breathe with the extra weight, we begin ignoring the strain. We must now focus on carrying luggage that doesn’t have our name on it. Luggage that we did not pick out. Luggage that ain’t even packed properly. Then the ultimate decision was how to carry my luggage and theirs. We play an involuntary game of Tetris. We think and dare not say out loud: How and why are we playing Tetris right now??

The focus has shifted, and we can’t even recall when it happened. Maybe since SSSG recruitment, childhood trauma—who knows? Regardless, when we see the luggage around us, we notice this luggage doesn’t even belong to us. In the game of rearranging, we slowly began misplacing our own luggage to keep being supportive of others. Our focus begins to shift to their luggage and not working through our own baggage. We have a few things we deem necessary on the amendable agenda, so we proceed Sunday morning to church. We get there dressed properly since, more often than not, we’ll have to adjust luggage to fit in the row.

We hear the sermon based on Luke 10:38-42 and see our Sis Mary being…light, while Martha is making preparations. We already know what preparations mean to the SSSG so we imagine her cooking, cleaning, greeting, taking care of the kids, and maybe even washing feet, while Mary is just sitting there listening to the Lord.

We automatically get in a good eye roll towards the idea of Mary just listening. We even get envious that she has the capability and audacity to just focus on what “thus says The Lord.” We look at all these other folks’ luggage we haulin’ and get a bit uneasy as we read the Lord correcting Martha, the original President of SSSG. I mean we completely understand Martha’s energy as she’s eyeing Mary, who just sat down at the Lord’s feet and listened as if the preparations would prepare themselves. She was only focused on one thing: sitting at His feet, which seems near impossible with all the preparation we’ve tasked ourselves with.

How?? How did she get right to it? How did she rearrange everyone’s luggage so quickly? How does she seem light? And why does her luggage match??

Mary maintained her focus. Yes, life throws curveballs, but maintaining her focus is as essential if not more than, breathing. We hear Pastor Stratford say, “Focusing on the wrong thing chances us missing what the Lord is doing in this moment.” We’ve been distracted and ain’t even know it!

Life does that…if you let it. It lets us think we have to take on the issues of everyone as if we have the power to rewrite their destinies. Meanwhile, we’re steadily piling up unnecessary pieces of luggage that for the most part, don’t belong to us. We begin focusing on the luggage and not God, who is the Author and Finisher of our lives. Their luggage has very well become a distraction as it commands our focus.

When you know better, you do better. So, in the valley and at the mountain top, I can no longer side-eye Mary because she knew to maintain her focus. Those same preparations Martha was busying herself with were there when Mary walked in, but Mary got into position to hear, not to rearrange or inhale.

Dear members of SSSG, because I see you, I ask you to exhale and then refocus on what is truly important. To me, that is living a full life. A life where, yes, there will be luggage, and everyone is well-equipped and capable of handling their own luggage. A life of being present and minding our own business—like Mary. A life that’s not burdened down but one that leaves room for me to receive from the Most High, be cognizant of distractions, and keep my focus on Him throughout the journey.